Enzo v Thor
At Port Fairy, the last person I expected to meet was this Thor guy!
We’d just set up camp and I was doing my security check of the perimeter hedges. Skulking under a bush I found this savage looking Scandinavian type. So, I dragged him out into the open and proceeded to try and chew off his right leg. [My experience of dealing with violent threatening types is that they are a bit more controllable once you’ve removed one of their legs]. I’d barely got started when the Silverback came over to see what I was doing.
For reasons I could not quite follow, the Silverback decided that removing one of Thor’s legs was not the best course of action at that time. He reasoned that he may belong to a family with small children and that they may come back looking for him! So, he perched him at a safe height in a bush in plain view, not realising that this meant he also had a clear view of us. I was quite sure this was not the best plan of management and tried to portray that with a long meaningful stare, but the Silverback’s resolve was unflinching. He can be like that, makes his mind up about something and is very resistant to reason.
I will accept that there was clearly no sword, axe or hammer in his right hand at the time, suggesting he was not geared up for violence but who’s to say they weren’t hidden under a nearby bush, so he could retrieve them in the dark of night? I gave the area a thorough sniffing over but could find no trace of caves or recently disturbed soil other than a couple of earthworm casts, one of whom I very nearly dug out.
However, I digress, back to the crisis at hand. If the folks can get worried about men in red suits coming down chimneys and feel the need to gather the family together to guard against such home invasions, why can’t they see the risk this guy poses. I know they have watched shows like Vikings and Game of Thrones where characters like these do unspeakable things. This is a family blog, so suffice it to say the types of violent acts they carry out are deplorable. Even animals like dogs and horses aren’t safe from their depravity.
As you would imagine, it made for a couple of tense days. Every time I walked by, I checked that he hadn’t moved, or more importantly retrieved any of his weapons from his secret cave. [They all have one, even Batman had a cave]. Even my sleeping was curtailed to ‘sleeping with one eye open’. My canine readers will know what I mean. It’s the sleep you have when imminent danger is lurking. It’s the sleep you have in a boarding kennel!
Luckily, we were only there a couple of days, nothing changed before check-out and we left. After an hour or so on the road, I knew we’d be safely out of reach of a Nordic savage travelling on foot and felt it was safe to go to sleep. I slept very soundly for the rest of the trip. As soon as I woke, I realised that he was still perched up in that bush waiting for the right moment to strike. So, I thought I’d better write this warning and publish it. Hopefully someone will pass the information on to the next people who stay at campsite 57 in Port Fairy. I’d managed to convince the Silverback to take a mugshot before we left, so here he is, beware!